Strap in, kids. This is gon’ be one heck of a ride.

Now, it’s February, and aside from the impending “dong dong chiang” and firework displays (legality aside) associated with Lunar New Year, there’s also this one event that comes with the month.

Y’know, the one where couple meal prices get super jacked up?

Yep. That’s the one.

Now, for some reason, I’m apparently still “person to write Valentine’s story” designate in my team . (I’m starting to think I’m being pigeonholed into doing these stories. The phone calls from a dating company don’t seem to help shake that impression off either.)

So, here I am again, writing on online dating. But this piece is more of an essay/rant-stravaganza, to reinforce a few points I made in my previous piece – on what to include and exclude from your dating profile.

Only I’m not as patient and forgiving as last time.

I went back to online dating a few weeks back (using Coffee Meets Bagel, way before I found out that I’m supposed to write a Valentine’s piece, again), and I’ve noticed a disturbing pattern…

Y’ALL DATING PROFILES SUCK.

There, had to get that off my chest.

To back up my premise, I, like any writer worth his salt (or paycheck), have to state my case. So here are a few:

1. Personality Profiles, and the -verts

OK, people, what’s the deal with including and stating your Myers-Briggs on your profile? More importantly, why Myers-Briggs? I cannot deduce who you are and what you like based on four letters.

The Myers-Briggs Personality Test isn’t the most accurate indicator of your personality, as it measures in extremes, and not take into account the nuances of you being you. It’s not exactly helpful in telling me who you are, and your personality can change.

Also, I don’t know about you, but I personally don’t wake up in the morning and go, “Y’know, I should date an ENFJ today.”

Your personality type is not an excuse to skimp on describing yourself.

Do note that your description of “introvert/extrovert/ambivert” does little to help either. What do you like doing – movies, video games? What do you not like doing – being in crowds? C’mon girl, tell me.

You want quality matches, make a decent profile.

2. Picture Imperfect

Sigh.

Before I continue, I should preface this by saying that I’m not talking about you using a picture of you during your better days, when in actuality you’ve outgrown your dress size. I would encourage you to be honest, but ultimately, you do you.

What I am talking about is the quality of your pictures.

Your dating apps – which link to your Facebook account – automatically populates your profile with your previously used profile pictures. Is it possible for you to just spend a little time just sifting through them?

I’ve mentioned those sins in my past article, but here we go: ditch the ones where your face is obscured, and the ones where you apply creative effects on your face. Also, ditch the ones where your eyes and nose are cropped off from the frame.

You’d think this would be common sense, but alas.

Now, on to my third point.

3. Setting the Bar Low

For context: Coffee Meets Bagel has a text field that reads, “I appreciate when my date…”, which you’re supposed to fill in.

I say “supposed”, because some people don’t.

However, what’s worse is the ridiculously low bar that y’all set.

Oh the things I have seen… like:

• Kejujuran (honesty – no, not kidding)
• The phrase “chivalry isn’t dead” (you do realise that medieval chivalry was more about combat than treating the ladies… right?)
• Remember me (Ironically, this makes it a forgettable profile)
• Gets along well and sincere (Yep, we’re definitely not going to get along)
• Humble (Quick, play “I’m So Humble” by The Lonely Island)

From my perspective, these entries look lazy. But… what if – now bear with me – it’s a reflection of our current culture? A culture where women have come to expect the worst from men, hence the relatively simple requirements? We are living in the #MeToo climate, after all…

Being Better

Now, I don’t know if you are genuinely lazy in setting up your dating profile – whether you couldn’t be bothered, or you don’t know how to describe yourself.

Here’s the thing: you can fix one of those things.

If you want to better describe yourself but can’t seem to find the words, get a friend to help (or, y’know, get a writer, like Yew!).

If you want to take a better picture of yourself but your selfie game isn’t on point, get a friend to help.

If you want to improve your profile, get a friend to look through it.

Think of your profile like a resume – does this describe you and what you’re looking for? Or are you just half-heartedly phoning it in?

If you are indeed lazy, don’t be surprised if you get poor matches.

In any case, I wish all of you the best of luck in finding your Valentine.

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Online dating? Why not try esync?

* This is the personal opinion of the writer.

*All images from Pixabay.